South African & British * Uncle (x3) * Terrible comedian * 6ft tall – perfect big spoon
Good Cook * Animal Lover * Winner of a Beauty contest in Monopoly
Mediocre CrossFitter * Spider rescuer * Ninth best hair where I work
Good Whistler * Two dogs in a human costume

Emile was born a moderately long time ago (1980), grew up on a working farm in South Africa’s Grain belt, where the family farmed wheat, corn, peanuts and sunflowers, as well as an abundance of cows, sheep, game and chickens. He had an adventurous childhood in a province known for it’s hardy and tough farming communities, great rugby players, and a lot of dust.

Growing up, Emile wasn’t particularly enamoured of the farming lifestyle, so after finishing high school, he went to Stellenbosch University, about as far away as he could get from the farm and still remain within the borders of the country, and studied accounting. University was an enlightening experience, with many an adventure and an eclectic circle of friends. Finishing 4 years of University, Emile then spent 3 years in Cape Town working for an auditing firm, before wanderlust compelled him to move to the UK, with the view to spend a year or two in the UK, travel and enjoy himself, and then return to South Africa and settle… That was 20 years ago.

Through connections, happenstance and luck, Emile ended up in Reading working for KPMG, where he stayed for 4 years. Deciding he didn’t fancy a lifetime as an auditor, Emile embarked on a career in the private sector in early 2011, staying around Reading for another three years before moving to London in the summer of 2012, a month or so before the Olympics.

Emile is currently settled in Wandsworth in South West London, has a good job that he enjoys, lives on his own, has a spectacular group of friends he adores, and is generally known to be a friendly, reliable and honest guy, who is empathetic and sincere, and loves people. 

He also discovered CrossFit in late 2015, and fell in love with the sport, which he credits with changing his life for the better, opening his eyes to a new world of fun and competitive Adult PE, and a huge number of amazing friends and all-round good people. Emile now spends his weekdays working in Finance, enjoys CrossFit most days and weekends, and is incredibly lucky to have a large and extremely diverse group of friends, confidantes, and acquaintances.

Emile’s current goals for the next year or so is to improve his health, drop unnecessary weight to allow him be a better athlete, feel better in and about himself, and in doing so, become a stronger, healthier, fitter and happier human.

Emile still has family in South Africa, who he sees on average once a year, and enjoys his time with them. His family live in Stellenbosch in the Western Cape.

Emile is also currently Single, and has declared that he is Heterosexual and has a keen interest in humans of the female variety. *Citation needed*

Here are some actual quotes from people (real and fictional) about Emile:

• “5 Stars: A perfect gentleman, just WOW” – Anonymous Ex-Girlfriend
• “Best Uncle Ever” – Ava (niece, 15)
• “Emile is so amazing, if only he was Gay” – Jon M
• “Jon, I have first Dibs!!” – Bobit L
• “Emile, you’re Hilarious!!” – Sasha
• “Emile is an expert in colour: he recognizes every hue, tint, tone, and shade” – Kindergarden Teacher
• “5 Stars: So sweet” – Nic’s Mom
• “He’s a Beast… in the kitchen” – Bon Appetit
• “Our go-to guy for fashion advice” – GQ
• “I WISH HE WAS MY PERSONAL TRAINER” – The Hulk

Uber rating: 4.79

THE END (For Now)

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